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Helping a Friend with a Drug Problem It’s not easy to talk to a friend if you think they have a problem with drugs or alcohol, but this guide can help you help them! My Friend Has a Problem Maybe your friend has been letting you down because he's drinking or using drugs. Maybe some of the things she does when she is drunk or high are really scary. The important thing is that you've noticed your friend may be headed for trouble. You can help your friend now before something really bad happens. They will probably say that drinking or doing drugs is not a big deal, but keep talking to them. No one ever thinks that trying drugs or alcohol is going to lead to get them addicted. That's the reason why drugs and alcohol are so tricky…no one thinks they're going to be the one with the problem. Do you hear yourself saying things like... "If I talk to my friend about this, he won't like or trust me anymore." If you aren't going to talk to them, chances are no one will. Even though it’s hard, think about what may happen if you don't talk to them. "I won't talk to my friend now because this is her first time using or she only uses or drinks once in a while." By not talking with your friend, you are only sending her the message that her drug or alcohol use is no big deal. How to Begin Our words are very powerful, especially to friends and loved ones. Here are a few things to remember: Privacy - No one likes their dirty laundry exposed. Talk in a private, quiet place. Be Positive - For example, "You are my best friend and one of my favourite people on the planet. But I feel like your drug use is changing the person I know and love." If it’s hard for you to say that kind of stuff, send an e-card or note. Research – Learn as much as you can about drugs or alcohol so you can answer any questions they might have. If you’re not sure, ask an adult to help you get good information, or bring some pamphlets to give to your friend. Solutions - No one likes it when someone points out a problem but doesn't have an answer. If you’re not sure exactly what to do, you can suggest that your friend talk to a caring adult or health professional. How Will My Friend React? If a friend drinks alcohol or uses drugs, there is no way to know how they will react. But trying to help a friend with a drug or alcohol problem early can help keep it from getting out of control. That’s why it’s important to step up and talk with your friend sooner rather than later. Chances are, they’ll be happy that you cared! Signs Someone May Be Using Drugs or Alcohol If you notice changes in how your friend looks or acts, it may be a sign they are using drugs or alcohol – or it could be a sign of another problem. You won’t know for sure until they talk to a professional. I smoked pot for the first time the summer before Grade 7. It was at a friend’s birthday party and he had a bunch of guys over. I knew they were going to be smoking pot and I decided to try it. I hadn’t done any drugs or alcohol before that – maybe a sip of my parent’s beer but nothing serious. Differences In How They Look
Differences In How They Act
How to Talk to Your Friend Talking to a friend about drugs or alcohol isn't easy. It's normal to worry about how they will react. Maybe writing a note to your friend is the best way for you to start. Whatever you decide, here's a list of steps that can help you start: Make a Plan Before You Talk Sort out your thoughts and figure out what you want to say. Be firm but don’t get mad. Think about what help you might need: a parent, faith leader, school counsellor, etc. Once you start talking, stay calm. Tell them why you’re worried and why you think they may have a problem. For example, you were at a party and saw them using drugs; their grades have slipped or they're missing class; they’ve changed from being "the person you know" to someone who gets in trouble. Let them know you care about them and that's why you want to talk. Some Good Starting Points:
Listen After telling your side, ask your friend what they think and listen to them. Offer your help or to help them find someone who can. Keep Talking! Pick a time to talk again, like a check-in. Talking to your friend about alcohol or drugs may not be a one-time thing. Let them know that you want to talk again soon because you care about them. Don't be afraid to ask an adult you can trust for help. Getting Help If you think you can’t talk to your friend on your own, talk with your parents, your friend's parents, or another supportive adult (school counsellor, coach, doctor, etc.). Talking to a counsellor may be a good idea if you're not sure how your parents or your friend's parents will react. Helping a friend with a drug or alcohol problem is hard work. You may feel lots of pressure to get your friend to stop drinking or doing drugs. You may get discouraged if you can’t get them to stop. Remember, it's up to them to change and you can't do that for them. Take care of yourself too, and always talk to someone if you need to. The Starfish Story One day a man was walking along the seashore. He noticed that during the night many seashells and starfish had washed upon the beach. Thoroughly enjoying the morning sun and cool sea air, the man walked for miles. As he strolled along, he noticed a small figure dancing in the distance. It made him chuckle to think of someone celebrating life in such an outgoing way. As he drew closer, however, it became apparent that the figure was not dancing. Instead, she seemed to be repeatedly performing some ritual. He drew nearer still and noticed that the small figure was a child. She was methodically picking up starfish and tossing them into the surf. He paused for a moment, puzzled, then asked, "Why are you throwing these starfish?" "It's high tide," she replied, "If I leave them on the beach, the sun will soon dry them and they will die. I am throwing them into the ocean so they can live." The man considered her actions, impressed with the child's thoughtfulness. Then he motioned up and down the miles of the beach. "There must be thousands of starfish along here," he said, "you cannot possibly make a difference." The young girl stopped. Her face darkened. She chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip, "You're probably right," she said softly. She looked down at the sand. Then she leaned over, carefully picked up another starfish, pulled back and arched it gently into the sea. With a tone of gentle defiance, she said, "But I made a difference for that one." |
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